askingfor a friend

Sexual health, no whispers.

Sex positions

Which sex positions allow more eye contact and closeness?

Distance between faces, whether you can kiss, and which arrangements keep them close.

6 min read

Short answer

Eye contact depends on the distance between faces, not a position name. If your faces are within an easy reach, you can look at each other and, often, kiss. If there is a torso in the way or someone is looking at the mattress, no. Closeness does not require penetration.

Looking at each other is not obligatory. These arrangements leave the option open.

Reverse spooning

On your sides, face to face. Faces line up, within kissing distance if you bring your heads closer, or farther if there is a shoulder gap. No one has to crane their neck to see each other.

Either person can tilt their head back and end the look or kiss. A pillow behind your back fixes the distance. If one face ends up level with the other’s chest, bend your knees; do not strain your neck.

Lotus

One person sits with their back on a headboard, feet on the floor. The other sits in front. Faces line up at the same height, closer than in missionary: a kiss is within reach without anyone lying fully on top.

If you move your pelvis away, faces stay close. If you have to twist your back to kiss, that is not lotus: that is a lack of support.

Missionary

The receiver, on their back. The person on top rests on forearms, not on tense palms. On forearms, faces are within kissing distance. On palms, they are farther: you can see each other, kissing is harder.

The person underneath can turn their head and stop. A pillow under the head of the person underneath brings faces closer; one under the pelvis does not.

Cowgirl

The person on top straddles, face to face. Sitting upright, faces are an arm’s length apart and fully visible. If they lean, kissing is possible and part of the field of view is lost.

The person on top can sit upright again or get off and stop. The person underneath does not have to lift their head up to look.

Lap, face to face

One person sits on a chair or a firm sofa, feet on the floor. The other sits on their lap, facing them. Faces line up at the same height. Stable furniture, no wheels; if you have to tense your legs not to fall, out.

The person on the lap stands up and stops. Kissing is within reach; if the seat is low and one face ends up level with the chest, this is not the arrangement.

Leaning cowgirl, chest to chest

The person on top leans forward, chest to chest. Faces are centimetres apart: you can kiss, and you see little beyond the face. This is not upright cowgirl.

The person on top sits up and stops. If the weight presses on the chest or makes breathing hard, put your palms on the mattress beside the shoulders, not more leaning.

Headboard: one person at the headboard, the other kneeling between the legs

One person sits at the headboard, back supported, feet on the mattress or the floor. The other kneels between their legs. Faces line up at the same height, within kissing distance.

The person at the headboard can move to the side and stop. If the person kneeling has to rise up on their knees to kiss, lower the seat or change.

Side scissor, modified

On your sides, with one leg between the other’s, pelvises close. You can see faces if you turn your heads; a kiss needs you to bring your shoulders closer. If penetration does not fit, this can be for friction.

Either person moves their leg away and stops. If you have to twist your neck to look at each other, do not force the scissor: reverse spooning or headboard.

Barriers and when to stop

When changing practice (from rubbing to penetration, from vaginal to oral), use a new barrier. A condom or dental dam does not cover the previous act. A position does not remove the possibility of pregnancy or the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

If your neck hurts or you cannot breathe with your faces so close, stop.

Sources and further reading